It's time for a 'little' update. (Funny how I always want to keep up with this Blog and have the best of intentions to do so, and then I never do...) Anyway, a lot has happened since my last post, and I wanted to share some of what God is doing in my life throughout all the changes. As most of you know, Chad and I have had the opportunity of a lifetime for him to get his Masters of Divinity at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. Yesterday marked four weeks since our little family arrived in Louisville, all ready for this new place, season, and adventure...it has been full of some really high "highs," and some really low "lows," and it seems like we have been jumping from highs to lows and back again on a daily basis! But, God has been SO near, and He has been SO faithful. In documenting some of our experiences, it is my desire to bring Him glory and to encourage you all with these evidences of His grace.
A few weeks ago, I wrote an entire blog about how much I missed "home" and how weird it was to be in this new place. I never was able to get it to post correctly, but I have the time to try again, so, here are my thoughts from three weeks ago:
"Home. The word has taken on new meaning for me in recnt days. Today marks 1 week that I have woken up in a new city. One week ago, movers were unloading all of our things into our new apartment. There were boxes and things EVERYWHERE (despite my very organized, pinterest-inspired labeling). The newness was exciting then. I couldn't wait to unpack, to rearrance, to settle into our new place. Now all the boxes are unpacked, the walls are decorated, the fridge and pantry are stocked...but, it hit me yesterday, it doesn't feel like home yet. Our apartment is nice and big, (and we don't have to fix the things that break!), but it isn't our little house in Yukon that was just right for our family of 3. The trees arching overhead make the winding roads absoutely beautiful, but they are unfamiliar. Our new church is great: good music, solid theology, friendly people...but I miss our Bridgeway family. I miss walking in and greeting familiar faces, knowing others' stories and them knowing mine.
I keep striking up conversations at the Kroger (which I LOVE, by the way, and have been to 3 times this week). I keep telling the check-out people that I'm new here. They just kind of nod, as if to say, 'Okay. Thanks for the info.' What am I needing to hear from them? A 'welcome to Louisville!'? A reminder that we are all new at some point in our lives? Tips for things to see and do? Reassurance that soon it will feel like home?
It doesn't feel like home yet. At home, I knew, even though there were days I didn't leave the house, everybody knew I was THERE. That's the weirdest feeling of all...it feels like the world is going on around me, and no one knows I exist. I know that soon, I will make friends. Soon, I will recognize faces. Soon I will hear others' stories and get to share mine with them. Soon I will learn the roads and where the Hobby Lobby and the Post Office are...
As I processed through all this with the Lord this morning, He reminded me in His perfect, peaeful voice, "I AM Home for you. No matter where you go, I AM your Home."
Psalm 139:7-12 says, "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your Presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, 'Surely darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,' even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you."
"Father, I KNOW that you have brought us to this place in your perfect wisdom. You have provided for us in MIRACULOUS ways. You are fulfilling a dream you placed in our hearts long ago. There is SO much joy and excitement in this season, as we follow your call to study and eventually church plant. I KNOW that this move is your will for us. And I know that you are here with us through it all. You are our HOME."
